For many years, CBS was what represented all that was wrong about America. (At least, it did if in the minds of the internet). It was the boring network that your parents love and you roll your eyes at because you're just SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT, MOM, you're so edgy and creative and you hate stupid procedural and sitcoms with LAUGH TRACKS because what is this, the '90s?! And the boring part of the '90s! Not the cool, Buzzfeed-beloved part, MOM. Of course, this was made CBS the most popular and consistent network, because it knew exactly what its audiences liked and how to give it to them. They wanted lazy sitcoms and mindless procedurals, and CBS knew exactly how to make them. The truth is, there are actually a handful of good shows on CBS (The Good Wife, Person of Interest) even if they are rooted in *gasp* PROCEDURAL FORMULA, and hell, How I Met Your Mother was a CBS sitcom, after all. (More on that shows' currently doomed spin-off later!). But still, it's not hard to see why CBS gets some contempt. It's pretty boring, most of their shows are paint-by-numbers, and it's rare to see the network doing anything interesting.
And yet, CBS had kind of a rough year this past season. They're still the #1 network in total viewers, but the problem of their old-skewing audience seems to be catching up to them, as they slipped behind NBC (!!!) in the demo and spent many nights hanging out in fourth place in that category, a place CBS is not at all used to being in. Other than The Big Bang Theory, their sitcom stock is collapsing, with 2 Broke Girls not shaping up be the surefire hit it looked like it'd be in Season 1, Two and a Half Men slowly marching towards death, and their lack of new sitcoms to replace the departing How I Met Your Mother. In fact, CBS is having a major problem with new shows. They haven't launched a hit drama since Elementary debuted two years ago, and even that shows' ratings are far from the solid tentpole status CBS is used to. Their only freshman comedy to get a second season in the past two years is Mom, which is an okay player but didn't quite live up to the lofty expectations CBS had for it. CBS still has the NCIS franchise (there's three of them now) and Big Bang Theory and Criminal Minds to hide their problems, but they're far more exposed than they were even at this time last year. And how has CBS responded? They did a very un-CBS thing - they sort of blew up their schedule in many ways. The CBS Monday comedy block, a staple of the network for nearly thirty years, is gone and replaced with a freshman drama. CSI, long CBS's proud veteran, is off to Sundays, and staple reality hit The Amazing Race is banished to Fridays, another new drama in its place. CBS is going pretty heavy this year, hoping that it'll cover up their weaknesses.
But their new shows still look pretty damn boring. Here they are!
Continuing the "moms can have JOBS?!" theme that's apparently a thing this year, this is a show about a MOM who is also SECRETARY OF STATE. She used to be a professor but then the secretary of state died! So now it's her! Crazy, right?! Actually, this show looks like it could pretty good. I just have to snark on everything. I have a serious problem. Help me?
NCIS: New Orleans
The trailer for this one is only a minute long, because the real trailer is just the other two NCIS shows. A lot of people watch NCIS, guys. Like, do you realize that? So many people watch NCIS.
Scorpion
It's so cute to see CBS shows acknowledging technology. I hope CBS doesn't start making annoyingly long and irrelevant comments on my Facebook statuses.
Stalker
Similar to how NBC really wants to make Debra Messing a thing, CBS has similar ambitions for Dylan McDermott. He plays by his own rules, guys! Isn't that awesome?!
The McCarthys
People live in Boston! And they're just like us, except their silly accents! They have kids and watch The Good Wife! Did you know that? It's crazy, right?!
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