If Thursday nights are a reminder of everything that is good in the world, Friday mornings are a reminder of everything that is terrible. Week after week, comedy lovers sit and mourn as they watch their beloved NBC line-up get demolished by CBS's The Big Bang Theory and whatever shit they're putting after The Big Bang Theory at the time. It's a stark reminder that the world is cruel, that the public rejects everything you love, and that there is almost zero hope for the future of the human race.
So, yay! Let's go!
Alright, just look at the numbers for fucking The Big Bang Theory (5.5, 17.25 million). Just fucking look at them! The sad thing is those numbers are actually a somewhat specific drop from its previous airing, and yet it still outdid every show on TV that aired in the past week. By contrast, look at the minuscule numbers for the most important wedding in the history of television on 30 Rock (1.3, 3.61 million). If that isn't proof that the human race is a waste of time, then what is? 30 Rock was also beat by The X Factor (2.7, 8.32 million) and The Vampire Diaries (1.4, 2.86 million). Yes, a CW show. More people watched The CW than 30 Rock. It did, however, outrank the just-cancelled Last Resort (1.0, 5.20 million), so uh...there's that.
At 8:30, Two and a Half Men (4.0, 13.74 million) didn't come close to Big Bang numbers but still handily beat everything else in the half-hour, including Up All Night (1.2, 2.97 million). But more people are probably going to tune into that once NBC adds a laugh-track to it for no reason, why? I mean, definitely. How could NBC go wrong? They peacock comedy.
The 9:00 PM hour should really be renamed "shows people apparently still watch", as Grey's Anatomy (3.1, 8.95 million), Glee (2.2, 5.39 million), and The Office (1.9, 3.88 million) all posed numbers far less than what they were doing at their peaks, although all are still fairly respectable, with Grey's representing the far high end of respectable and The Office representing the low end. There's also Person of Interest (2.9, 14.43 million), which does fine but isn't really CSI-ing it up like CBS probably wants it to, and Beauty and the Beast (0.6, 1.52 million), which allows The CW to return to shockingly awful status, where it is most comfortable. At 9:30, Parks and Recreation (1.4, 2.99 million) concerningly dropped a large amount from its last airing to pose its lowest result ever. I don't think we need to worry about it yet or anything, but I would hope this is a one-time thing.
Rounding it out, the 10 PM hour, which randomly has been posing pretty low numbers all-around this season, saw a tie for first between Elementary (2.2, 10.46 million) and Scandal (2.2, 6.64 million). There was also Rock Center (0.9, 3.45 million), which...did not tie for first. I would guess CBS has to be pretty disappointed in Elementary's numbers, but they seem to have a lot of faith in it (it's getting the coveted post-Superbowl slot) and it's actually their highest rated new show this year, so I don't expect it to go anywhere.
So there you have it. Everything sucks and everyone you meet is probably terrible because they might be contributing to this. Happy Holidays!
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