Friday, August 22, 2014

THERE'S A SIMPSONS MARATHON ON TV WHY AREN'T YOU ALL WATCHING


Everyone! EVERYONE! There's a Simpsons marathon on TV right now! They're showing EVERY SINGLE EPISODE. Go watch! What? Why aren't you watching?

What's that? You've NEVER WATCHED The Simpsons? Who are you?! Are you a member of this planet? Oh, what's that? You were born in the '90s and didn't come of age until The Simpsons was already past its prime? That's no excuse! So was I, but reruns and the internet existed, dummy! Go, educate yourself on The Simpsons right this very second! It's the greatest animated show of all-time - no, the greatest sitcom of all time....no, the greatest television show of all time. And right now the marathon is only on Season 3! You've already missed so much, but there's still six more of the greatest comedy seasons of all-time that will help educate you as to why The Simpsons is, indeed, one of the grandest achievements of mankind. You might be laughing. You might think I'm not being serious. But here's the thing, I am being completely serious. As you might have gathered, I'm a big fan of the art of television, and The Simpsons is a show that demonstrates everything television can be. It's hilarious, it's heartwarming, it has perfectly sculpted characters that reflect society at large, it cuts down to the bone of what it means to be a human being while simultaneously throwing out silly gags that involve a man getting hit in the face with a rake...it is, in other words, everything you could ever want a television show to be. And yes, the show hasn't achieved these heights since the turn of the millennium, but that doesn't change the fact that there's still hundreds of golden Simpsons episodes that represent the medium of television at its very peak.

Okay, fine, here. I'll give you a list. I know how much you like those. But I'm not just going to rattle off my favorite episodes, not only because it's impossible and changes nearly every day but because it doesn't quite give you a scope of everything the show is truly capable of. Instead, I'm going to break down the types of episodes the show did and give you a few examples of the very best of those episode types, from humor to heartwarming to bizarre pop culture motifs. Let's go!

Humor

First things first...wait, no, stop! Stop singing Iggy Azalea, this is Simpsons time! Anyway, first things first, The Simpsons is fucking hilarious. That goes without saying, but it's hilarious in a way that was so influential that you can watch nearly any comedy that came after it and just feel the Simpsons touch in it. South Park? Arrested Development? 30 Rock? Community? All of these shows used The Simpsons' unprecedented mix of well-crafted jokes, pop culture references, social satire and good, old-fashioned slapstick to hone their own comic styles. Also, I mean, every time I watch an episode of classic Simpsons, I'm left hysterically laughing and quoting said episode for days after. It's just really, really funny, and here are three episodes that perfectly showcase why.

Last Exit to Springfield (Season 4, Episode 17) - Centering around Homer and his fellow plant workers going on strike after Mr. Burns takes away their dental plan Lisa Needs Braces, this episode is often singled out as the single-best episode of The Simpsons. Some of that might be its surprisingly deft take on union politics, but mostly it's because it's a non-stop 22 minutes of perfectly executed gags. From the aforementioned DENTAL PLAN! repetition to Lisa tripping on laughing gas to Homer's brief appearence on Smartline to Grandpa's never-ending story about tying an onion to his belt because it was the style at the time to "and that's the tooth!", this episode gets off the ground running and doesn't stop until the fade to black. If you want an episode where you'll feel at risk of death from laughing so much, this is the one for you.

Cape Feare (Season 5, Episode 2) - An episode that relocates the Simpsons family to a town called Terror Lake to escape Sideshow Bob, "Cape Feare" is notable for just how insane it is - it's basically a collection of extended surrealist sketches that add up to a loose Cape Fear parody. But in that typical Simpsons way, it manages to take that format and turn it into something very specific to the Simpsons family themselves, from Homer accidentally brandishing Bart with a knife while offering him brownies to Bart convincing Sideshow Bob to put on an elaborate H.M.S. Pinafore routine that winds up saving his life. What most people remember this episode for is the famous rake gag, which features Sideshow Bob stepping on rakes for what seems like eternity. That kind of "double down until it's not funny anymore then comes back around to being funny again" humor is prevalent and perfectly done all through this episode, from the rake gag to Sideshow Bob getting run over by the longest parade ever to Homer taking an entire night to learn the name of his new alias. It's a humor styling that can be very easy to become overbearing (looking at you, Family Guy) but "Cape Feare" gets it just right enough to make it one of the funniest episodes of television ever.

King-Sized Homer (Season 7, Episode 7) - King-Sized Homer takes a simple premise - what if Homer Simpson got even fatter? - and turns it into a thing of beauty. Sure, Homer trying to become clinically obese just to have an excuse to work on medical leave is a funny premise in an of itself, but the specifics that the show adds to it are what make King-Sized Homer one of the shows' most memorable outings. Not only is Homer not ridiculously overweight, he's wearing a mumu and spends a significant part of the episode driving an ice cream truck. Not only is he working from home, he's pressing a button on a computer over and over again and is so lazy that he winds up using a toy to press it for him. And in a plot development that demonstrates The Simpsons' impeccable ability to build up the stakes, Homer's laziness winds up almost causing a nuclear explosion. All of this makes King-Sized Homer such a delight, but also...Homer wears a mumu!

Sweetness
Going for an "aww" moment is extremely difficult to do without seeming overly saccharine or pandering. And yet, The Simpsons managed to do it on a regular basis, because deep within the core of the series is a true, strong love between its core characters. That love is what kept the show together even as its humor was going into uncharted and outlandish territory, and it's part of what makes The Simpsons more than just a funny comedy, but also a genuinely earnest look into everyday American life.

Lisa's First Word (Season 4, Episode 10) - Lisa's First Word is a flashback episode centering around Lisa and Bart's early childhood years, and it's in those flashback episodes that The Simpsons often went to its sweetest places. They provided a down-to-earth, family-centric vibe that's often rarely seen on television, as if a bunch of people really were just getting together and reminiscing with each other. Lisa's First Word is a sweet Bart and Lisa episode that documents Bart's struggle to adjust to a new sibling in his life, but it also turns into a surprisingly sweet Maggie-centric episode when Maggie utters her first word at the episode's end: "daddy" (famously voiced by Elizabeth Taylor). Lisa's First Word was, all in all, an episode that really celebrated family love, even through the rough patches.

The Last Temptation of Homer (Season 5, Episode 9) - Homer and Marge had plenty of marital troubles, but one of the most memorable was when Homer feared he was falling in love with a new co-worker, Mindy. Mindy seems to be the perfect woman for Homer - she's lazy, crude, and loves donuts. For a while, it seems like Marge can't compete. But the episode then turns around and shows us how strong Marge and Homer's bond really is when Homer ultimately rejects Mindy because he knows that while Mindy may seem alluring, Marge is the one who truly loves him. This episode demonstrates why the character of Homer Simpson works so well - sure, he's kind of a lazy slob, but he's a guy who truly does care about the people he loves under it all. It's that detail that separates a character like Homer from many of the future "lazy husband" knock-off characters that would attempt to recreate his magic after the show became a hit.

And Maggie Makes Three (Season 6, Episode 13) - Another "flashback" episode that recalls the events leading up to Maggie's birth, "And Maggie Makes Three" is a perfect portrayal of a couple whose lives haven't quite turned out how they expected, and who find themselves having to sacrifice some of their dreams at the expense of their children. Sure, Homer's dreams in this episode aren't quite high-reaching (he dreams of being a pin monkey at a bowling alley, because he's Homer) but the episode still addresses what it's like when you realize that your dreams just aren't going to pan out. That sounds horribly depressing, but the episode ends with what might be the all-time sweetest Simpsons moment: completely head over heels over his newborn baby, Homer covers the desk of his dead-end job with pictures of her taped over the message "do it for her".

Emotional Gutpunches

But The Simpsons was capable of being deeply sad at times, too, when it really addressed some of the heavier aspects of its characters that were lying under the surface. These are all episodes that succinctly deal with the tragic side of some of these generally comic characters. Sure, we may spend much of our times laughing at them, but the show wanted them to feel like we knew them and could relate to some of their deeper insecurities.

Lisa's Substitute (Season 2, Episode 19) - The first two seasons of The Simpsons are chock full of earnest moments, as the show hadn't quite discovered its more outlandish side yet and was more focused on being a skewed take on the traditional family sitcom. But of all of those more serious moments, the most memorable is this one, which finds Lisa falling in love with her substitute teacher Mr. Bergstorm. Lisa's fascination with her teacher is rooted in the fact that she sees the loving, fatherly qualities in him that are absent in her own father. When Mr. Bergstorm leaves and Lisa's dissatisfaction with the father figure she's been given come to a head, the episode quickly becomes tense and heartwrenching as Lisa completely loses faith that Homer will ever be the father she really needs. The episode ends on a sweet note with Homer and Lisa sharing an honest moment together, but the brutal fact that Homer can never quite live up to what Lisa needs is still present, and often carry themselves through-out the series. (In defense of Homer, he really does love Lisa a lot, and that often proves to be enough).

A Streetcar Named Marge (Season 4, Episode 2) - This isn't so much a quick gutpunch as it is a steady, slow one where you begin to realize over the course of the episode how Marge really is trapped in a marriage that doesn't allow her to live to her full potential. The episode smartly mirrors A Streetcar Named Desire (the local community play that Marge is starring in) in its story about how Marge struggles to stand out as anything more than just a mother and a wife to Homer. As with Homer and Lisa's relationship, Marge and Homer's marriage is saved by Homer truly loving Marge and understanding that he'll never quite understand everything she needs but promising to try his best anyway. That's more than many marriages, and it's enough to keep Homer and Marge's relationship on steady grounds, even if Marge often finds herself wondering if there's anything more.

Mother Simpson (Season 7, Episode 8) - Here's an episode that helps get to the bottom of why Homer is the way that he is. This episode finds Homer's long-lost mother Mona returning after unexpectedly leaving him and his father when Homer was a child, and it nicely cuts to the bone of some of Homer's issues relating with other people. The way that Homer re-opens himself up to his mother and finding so many of his deep-rooted issues being solved only to have them re-opened when Mona runs off again is deeply unsettling, and the image of Homer sitting on top of his car looking at the stars after watching his mother leave once again (pictured above) is a contender for one of the saddest images ever animated.

Political Satire


Another one of The Simpsons' many talents was skewering the establishment in ways that most shows of its time weren't adept to do in a meaningful manner. The Simpsons still contains some of the most potent political statements of all time, including the following episodes:

Two Cars in Every Garage and Four Eyes on Every Fish (Season 2, Episode 4) - The show's first foray into political satire was also one of its best. After it's discovered that the nuclear waste from his plant has been harming the town's ecosystem when a four-eyes fish is discovered, Mr. Burns decides to run for governor to keep the plant from closing down. The way Mr. Burns is able to sway the residents of Springfield puts the shows' succinct ability to cover mob mentality, and the way Mr. Burns' plan completely fails when he refuses to eat the four-eyed fish is one of the shows' most cathartic endings.

Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington (Season 3, Episode 2) - Following Lisa and her family's trip to Washington DC after winning an essay-writing contest about why she loves America, this episode becomes a story of disillusionment after Lisa witnesses a bribery scandal first-hand. Not only does this episode succinctly showcase the moment when you realize that America isn't quite as clean-cut as you'd been led to believe, it also features one of the shows' greatest and most sarcastic endings, where Lisa's speech manages to convince everyone in Washington DC to stop being corrupt and do the right thing from now on.

Sideshow Bob Roberts (Season 6, Episode 5) - The shows' most upfront example of political satire, Sideshow Bob Roberts tracks the Simpsons mayorial election between Mayor Quimby and Sideshow Bob. Like many episodes, "Sideshow Bob Roberts" takes large-scale events and boils them down to a small-town level, and by doing so manages to present a cutting takedown of the American electoral system. What's great about this episode is how timely it remains even 20 years later, as the figures satirized in this episode are only more prevalent and powerful today. Classic Simpsons episodes are so wide-reaching and such a succinct take on our society that they may never lose their relevancy.

Religious Takedowns


The Simpsons was one of the first shows to openly question religion, and its questioning of Christianity paved the way for shows like South Park to further skew one of the most powerful institutions of American society. Religion-skewering is far more commonplace now, but The Simpsons' religious questionings remain potent because of how, despite how deeply they question beliefs that were once believed to be a necessity, it also acknowledges some of the positive aspects of faith and what draws so many people to it. That allowed the show to tackle religion in a way that was both skeptical and knowledgeable about the material it was covering.

Homer the Heretic (Season 4, Episode 3) - Perhaps the shows' most famous example of religious skepticism, Homer the Heretic finds Homer deciding to stop and wonder "why am I doing this to myself every Sunday?". Sure, part of this is Homer's laziness and his dislike of leaving his bed, but he has a point that resonates with many disillusioned churchgoers: "I'm not a bad guy. I work hard and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell?". The fact that he says this to God is a great example of how The Simpsons skewered some of the less likable aspects of religion with the parts that draw so many people in.

Bart Sells His Soul (Season 7, Episode 4) - Okay, so maybe this episode doesn't directly deal with religion, but the way Bart goes from being so confident that souls aren't real that he decides to sell it to being convinced that he's turned himself into a monster is a nice way of dealing with how it can feel when you start to realize you're a bit of a non-believer. But the biggest religious message this episode contains is the idea that the soul is real and that it's the connection you have to the people who love you. Lisa "returns" Bart's soul to him physically, technically, but she also does so by showing herself as someone who truly does care about him and his soul. In its own twisted, weird, way, "Bart Sells His Soul" has some of the most potent messages about divinity in the entire series.

Lisa the Skeptic (Season 9, Episode 8) - One of the shows' more cynical takes on religion, Lisa the Skeptic revolves around bones discovered at the digging site of a new shopping mall that are believed to be the bones of an angel. Practical Lisa denies their theory and is outcast for it, but she turns out to be right when it turns out the owners of the shopping mall created the bones themselves as stealth promotion for their mall. As Lisa is outraged that the developers would use peoples' faith to get them to spend money, the townspeople that she's defending despite their treatment of her are too lulled by the spectors of capitalism to give two shits about what's just happened here. The message borders on being too heavy-handed by manages to stay on the right side of the line by also centering around Lisa and Marge's attempts to understand their conflicting viewpoints.

Meta Humor



Long before Community was a twinkle in anybody's eye, The Simpsons was the most reliable source of meta humor on TV. And while it seems unlikely that a small town like Springfield would really be a considerable hub of entertainment, these episodes still demonstrate some of the most powerful in-humor in TV history, which paved the way for shows like Arrested Development, 30 Rock and Community to toy with the concept of self-referencing.

The Front (Season 4, Episode 19) - An episode that centers around Bart and Lisa submitting scripts to Itchy & Scratchy under their grandfather's name, The Front is one of the most meta episodes in TV history. The entire episode is an analysis of what it's like to be in the writers' room of a cartoon, making it full of in-jokes and references that give us a bit of an insight into what it takes to make the greatest comedy show of all-time.

Bart Gets Famous (Season 5, Episode 8) - A story about how Bart stumbles onto the set of Krusty the Klown's TV show and turns himself into a national phenomenon, "Bart Gets Famous" succinctly deals with the rise-fall aspect of celebrity status and how life in the spotlight can be gone before you know it. It also deals with how getting a platform to express your talents inevitably becomes a cycle of monetary schemes and diminishing returns. This deals with how even The Simpsons struggled with the idea of appealing to so many people, and the episode's ending, where each Simpsons character obnoxiously shouts their catchphrase, seems to say "we're no better than the people we're making fun of". But The Simpsons is better than those shows, because they're smart enough to have Lisa rolling her eyes at everyone and muttering "I'll be in my room".

The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show (Season 8, Episode 14) - Constantly referenced whenever a television show makes an unpopular decision, The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show follows the Itchy & Scratchy Show's decision to add a new character named Poochie, voiced by Homer. This episode is an interesting study of the decline of a once-loved television show, which can best be summed up by a Lisa quote from the episode: "there is nothing wrong with the show, it's as good as ever, but after so many years, the characters lose something of their impact." This could reflect how the Simpsons writers themselves felt at the time. Season 8 is still indisputably a classic season, but it was around this time that some of the cracks in the Simpsons framework were beginning to show. Of course, The Simpsons didn't heed their own advice and wound up continuing for at least 18 more seasons after this, but this episode remains an interesting analysis of what happens as a television show begins to lose its luster.

Adolescent Pains


The Simpsons also features some of the most painfully accurate accounts of growing up ever shown on television, mainly because it allowed its kids to actually be kids and learn and grown and make mistakes, instead of portraying them as perfect beings like so many family sitcoms tended to at the time. These episodes best exemplified some of the growing pains that the show would throw their way.

Separate Vocations (Season 3, Episode 18) - This was an episode that took Lisa and Bart's established personalities and swapped them, turning Lisa into a rule-breaking rebel and Bart into a militant rule-following hall monitor. It was a nice way of covering the fact that kids don't always have to stick to their established boxes like they tended to on TV, and although Lisa and Bart eventually return to their natural habitats, watching them experiment with the other side felt more honest than the way most sitcom children of the time were forced to stay in their pre-determined corners of adolesence.

Lemon of Troy (Season 6, Episode 24) - Focusing on the Springfield's kids rivalry with neighboring town Shelbyville's kids, "Lemon of Troy" is a gleeful look into the world and stakes of being a kid, as a simple dispute over a lemon tree becomes what seems like a life or death situation. What makes "Lemon of Troy" truly succeed is the way it sizes itself down to the size of Bart and his friends and makes their seemingly trivial feud into something we all truly begin to root for. The way it eventually involves the adults of Springfield shows us that sometimes it's okay to get into a fight over a lemon tree with the cousin-loving weirdos from the town across the way.

Summer of 4 ft. 2  (Season 7, Episode 25) - Most Simpsons fans could probably relate strongly to Lisa Simpson's childhood, the way that she could never earn the respect of her classmates no matter how hard she tried, and the way that, when offered the opportunity to bring a friend along on the family vacation, she opts for a stuffed animal instead. So when Lisa found acceptance by pretending to be someone else in "Summer of 4 ft. 2", all of those fans probably felt a little piece of themselves being accepted. And when her friends decided they liked her no matter what clothes she wore, those fans probably got a little bit misty-eyed but tried not to tell too many people about it.

Romance


The true heart of The Simpsons is Homer and Marge's marriage, the idea that if someone like Marge could love someone like Homer, then it really is possible to truly see the best in anyone. Their marriage may have been on the rocks many times, but these episodes demonstrated how their marriage was one of the most loving ones ever depicted on television, even through the tribulations.

I Married Marge (Season 3, Episode 12) - What's more romantic than the story of how Homer and Marge originally met? Well, to be fair, Homer and Marge's origin story is not really very romantic at all, considering their wedding was a shotgun wedding after Homer accidentally gets Marge pregnant. But what comes of it is proof that a seemingly bad situation doesn't have to be the end of the world and can, actually, turn it into something beautiful. Homer and Marge's marriage wasn't supposed to happen, but it did, and it wound up being something much more special than anyone could've predicted.

Duffless (Season 4, Episode 16) - This episode is perhaps the best proof that Homer truly does have a deep-rooted love for his wife and family that he prioritizes over everything else. After Homer gets a DUI, Marge persuades him to give up alcohol for a month - just a month, "for her". Homer begrudgingly agrees, but soon finds that he doesn't necessarily need alcohol to be happy and finds enough love and comfort from his wife. The episode ends with Homer ending his alcohol-free month not with a (finally allowed) trip to the bar, but with an evening bike ride with his wife.

El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (Season 8, Episode 9) - This episode probably should've be the end-all of "Homer and Marge have marital problems" plotline. After another embarrassing incident at the local chili tasting festival, Marge storms off and declares herself done with Homer's antics. Simultaneously, Homer has a drug trip on some kind of super fucked up, extremely spicy chilli prepared by Chief Wiggum and embarks on a drug/pepper-fueled quest to find his true love. The episode ends with Homer realizing that Marge is the one for him in a way that is both completely strange and trippy but also deeply honest in a way that makes us buy the bond between Homer and Marge, no matter how unbelievable it seems at times.

So that's it! Are you convinced now? Are you convinced that The Simpsons is truly the greatest television show of all time and you've been missing out on it all of these years? What's that? Oh, you want me to...ugh. Fine. Here are my top 5 episodes, as of this moment, subject to change in like three minutes:

5. Deep Space Homer
4. Bart Sells His Soul
3. Last Exit to Springfield
2. Cape Feare
1. And Maggie Makes Three

ARE YOU HAPPY? I RANKED THEM. Now, please, do yourself a favor. Make your life worth living and watch the Simpsons marathon.


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